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I was five-foot-five and weighed pounds. The hallway was nine feet long and five feet wide…. I was on the bottom. He was on the top. His hands were around my throat. He was choking me—to death, I thought. With every fiber of my being I fought him. Clutching at his hands.

Scratching at his eyes. Twisting my body, trying to knee him in the groin. It was not working. He was still calling me a bitch. During the encounter, Vanzant recalls, she realized that her husband did not really want to kill her: He kept releasing her throat to give her the opportunity to catch her breath. She decided to stop fighting. I just stopped fighting him. I focused my eyes squarely on his eyes, then on his twisted, writhing mouth, and I just stared.

He gave one last push, as if to expel air out of my body. Someone who thought she could save her alcoholic boyfriend before she could think about saving herself. I saw someone who lost her career because of her own mental-health issues, but I also saw someone who needed more help than Vanzant could provide. But Vanzant failed Thomas, along with a lot of other people she has tried to help. The next generation of bubbly Save time, money, and ultimately help save the planet by forgoing your La Croix.

And that segment only included Vanzant asking Thomas about her previous diagnosis. You can never tell what goes on behind the scenes of these shows, but one thing's for sure: Instead of trying to embarrass Thomas on national television, maybe Vanzant should have focused more on her mental-health issues. Your whole life is a colon. You have to eliminate. We hold so much energy, thoughts and emotions and have ruptures in our relationships and finances and internally with diseases.

People will take their clothes to the cleaners and do their laundry, but they never clean their energy. That is a form of holding on. When you have a breakdown or are upset with someone, the way to eliminate toxic energy from your body, mind and spirit is clearing conversations.

We have to have clear, clean and complete conversations. We also have to renew and recharge our vision. In these 60 to 90 days, ask yourself, What am I doing? Do I need to make some additions or eliminate some things or people? I had my first summer at home in probably ten years.

We have to create more me time for reflection and get off technology. In January , I woke up one day and had the inkling to invite Ms. Oprah Winfrey to come to the festival. Not as Oprah Winfrey but as my guest. And she agreed. Sometimes when you reach a certain place in your profession, people separate you from the everyday community.

Sometimes people try to do that to me, and I sense sometimes that they do that to her. I always come to Essence as a Brooklyn resident, meeting my community at the heart.

I wanted to share that space with Ms. She said,. So often women are talked out of their intuition, doubt it or try to validate it by talking to others. I had surgery three days before I was to speak at Essence Fest. Because I had followed my intuition in January and asked Ms. I followed my intuition and invited Ms. Press On When they told me I was going to have to wear a colostomy bag, a diva such as myself was not happy about pooping in a bag on the side of my belly.